Journey To Motherhood
Images By Will Yan
“What number pregnancy is this?”
I have been asked this question at every doctor’s appointment, and though it may seem simple enough, it was one I was never entirely sure how to answer.
It is not lost on us that for many today the unfortunate truth is that it can be quite common to face obstacles surrounding pregnancy. When I first found out we were expecting, I remember feeling so honored that my body decided it could carry and grow a child. I had been navigating through some health challenges that left us wondering at times what our personal journey would be. We were immediately overjoyed with the surprise of finding out I was pregnant, and just as painfully surprised to find it end several weeks later. The complicated answer to a seemingly simple question— this is pregnancy number 2.
I believe in the power of perspective. I don’t claim to know anything about motherhood, and I am no expert when it comes to pregnancy, but what I do know, is that life will always be and has always been a collection of different seasons; mountains and valleys, highs and lows. I believe how we respond is a choice, and I choose to be thankful for them all. I truly feel that there is always something to be taken away from any given situation; good or bad, so why not choose growth?
Robin and I have decided not to find out the sex of our baby — a decision that I personally never imagined we would make! But, our experience left us wanting only one thing; a healthy baby. There was a shift in our perspective, and a level of gratefulness and faith that allowed us to take on this season with bold optimism and place ourselves in the passenger seat of this wild ride.
We have only just begun this adventure, but the days are passing by without any hesitation. I am in constant awe of how miraculous growing another human is and the every day changes - both physically and mentally that remind us of our budding family.
I accepted a long time ago that in life there are many things I cannot control. I believe there is freedom in that acceptance. Freedom to evolve, grow, make mistakes (and fix them), and to continue on that trajectory. My experience with pregnancy thus far has been exactly that: a series of sneaky reminders. Reminders for myself, reminders of things I hope to teach our child, and reminders of how much I excitedly still have left to learn.